愛.kærlighed.amour.αγάπη.aşk.pyar

Some people go out in search of it
Some people cannot stand it
and worst of all , there are people like me , who cannot live without it .

Some people wait for that Kuch Kuch hota hai moment and some people try to make every moment spent on this earth hoping to do 'kuch kuch' for someone else :)

Thats just the way the world works .

If you are working , and i read this somewhere , they say "Quit your job if you wouldn't do what you're doing now for free."

I guess , in a way .. they're talking about love too , right ?

When i'm writing a program . I make sure that i am writing it because i want to and not because i have to and that i understand the purpose behind it. I make sure that i am writing it not because i can but because writing that program accomplishes something.

I guess , in a way .. thats talking about love too , right ?

When i'm shooting a photo i make sure that the frame is right , that the model (if any) is standing in the right place and that he/she adds to the picture and that he/she isn't just standing there for the oomph effect . After the picture is taken , i post process it and get what i truly wanted out of what i saw in my mind .

I guess , in a way .. thats talking about love too , right ?

Me? I believe in love . I believe that there is that one person out there for me . I believe that one day , i would choose her over myself because 1. i'm a hopeless romantic and 2. simply because she would mean that much to me .

Of course when we talk about love . I should point out here that we all (at least mostly) were born in this world owing to love (also called arranged marriage at that time) and that i'm able to sit here and type this out all because of the love that 2 people have given to me throughout their life - My mom and My dad.

I learnt how much a husband can love his wife
I learnt how much a wife , irrespective of never accepting, loves her husband to bits
I learnt how much most important of all , we all need to value that love

Some of us would say that our parents have done their duties in bringing us up to a extent where i can write this and where you can understand it, but to them its like they've done such a small thing .

This evening , i asked my mom to make me breakfast tomorrow morning so that i could take it to office (my friends really like her cooking) and she smilingly asked me .. 20 phulkas enough ? Thats such a small task for her to do for my sake . A tear rolled down my eye and i covered it up with laughter .

I guess , in a way .. thats talking about love too , right ?

DAMN right it is .

They taught us how to walk
They taught us not to stick our fingers into our mouths
They taught us how to say FAN
They taught us how to behave
They taught us ..
They taught us the most important thing ,
They taught us how to love.

And in my case , I wish for one thing .

I wish that the person whom i love , i can love as much as my dad loves my mom .
I wish that the person whom i love , loves me as much as my mom loves my dad .
I wish that the person whom i love , is as happy as my parents are with each other .

Staying away from the people i love for the past year has belted into me a lot of lessons .

In accordance to that , i would say "Note to self: Please Dont rely on that to learn their value ."

Because what begins , must end
Because even though void main() begins with a { it does also end with a }
Because though the 2012 thing is crap , we will die .

I do not want to cry for people after they are dead , i spoke about this to someone a long time ago and said i WOULDN'T CRY but i guess i've lost that bet now . I know i will , but i DONT WANT TO.

I guess , in a way .. thats talking about love too , right ?

I want to value you when you are alive . At least then i can tell you how much you mean to me.

THIS IS in DEDICATion TO all those Morons who'vE understOod me and can bear to live with me in this World.

I love you.

The big ugly "gets-work-done" guy

Right now, i sit in one of the most corrupt offices in the city . Which city? every single one of them in India .

Let me tell you 1 simple fact about how stupid i am . I lost my wallet , A couple of months ago . With it went woooosh my:

1. Pan Card
2. License
3. Landmark fellowship card .. You may ask why this is so important ? well because the card's number was 000001 :)
4. 2k
5. memories

Now , i need a license , i wish to drive a car , a swift or an i10 , but that isn't important . The base point - I need a license .

Dad made a couple of calls .

the R T O , the Regional Transport Office.

People around me , all waiting , all sitting on the slab that i am sitting on . Like one of my friends quoted , there is no distinction between us people sitting on the slab . The real distinction is not physical . The real distinction is more of how we came to sit on this same slab .

I came, and i will accept, through what they call a 'broker'. Which is just a glorified way of calling a peon . A person who can get things done .

Do i feel guilty ? Yes , as hell . Why ? Because i'm just another pawn in this corrupt society, feeding the demon that is corruption . A big , black thing with no physical form , much like goop or a swampy creature with big red eyes of temptation is how i picture this Corruption .

Its not a concept anymore . Its something . A 'thing' that has an identity . A thing that we feed . A thing that we breed .

update: 
I just went into an office . This is the office of the P.A to the RTO, (RTO meaning the Regional Transport Officer) and lied to him . Told him that i can possibly only get 1 day(s) of leave from my office and asked him if he could sign the re-issue papers . He looked at me , he looked at the 'broker' and slyly said that he couldn't do it and that we had to wait for the RTO as such . He continued on and told me to go , and sent the broker soon after . I wonder .

While all of us are stuck waiting in never ending lines , these people - the 'brokers' dont have such a line , they have "another" line . I wonder .

There are a lot of things i wonder about , and one such thing ISN'T corruption . Because there really isn't anything to wonder about, is there?:

You pay , they give . You pay more , they give sooner . You pay even more , you dont even need it . C'est la vie . 

Considering the way things are moving here, there is one little proverb that i have always admired that needs an addition .

Blood is thicker than water ?
Money is thicker than blood . 

Update: 
OK , things are done now . Heres what happened:

After i met the PA , i waited for some more time and then went and met the RTO dude himself, directly . Lied to him that i had only 1 day(s) leave and then he lectured me about how HE had to wait 10 days in line to get admission into a school for his son . But hell! I guess he had been successful in that adventure . He signed the papers and the major hurdle was crossed . The rest was supposed to be , as our thalaivar, Mr. Rajini Sir would say: "jujubi"

Following that, I came out and waited in line to get my picture taken . Then started the ordeal . I sat to be photographed 3 times and kept getting sent back because:

It was a duplication request and not a fresh license or a renewal and hence i had to get some more signatures
There was no bill attached for the amount paid , i had to come over and get the bill
The name on the bill was Mukesh and lets face it , i am neither the great singer or a "really really" fat dude. 

So with all these things taken care of , i approached the chair like it was a throne that i had to earn my place on and asked the dude before sitting . "Anna, should i sit or do i need to run around some more?" . He laughed and said "Thambi , no payan (pain) no gayan (gain)" . That gave me the laugh i needed for the picture .

Ok, yes i'm English-ist . Its a beautiful language and needs to be resspected .

Anyway, back to the topic. So after all these miniscule things , i came out of the Picture room (as they all call it) triumphant . My DL will be delivered at most by tomorrow .

P = 1 .

So i guess what i'm trying to say is this:

Do you know the PM? I know someone better .
Do you stand in line from 5 in the morning ? I know someone better .
Do you skip lunch and breakfast because you need to get your passport renewed ? I know someone better . 

This is the same case with all of us . Poor souls who dont know the 'someone better' will suffer because we KNOW the 'someone better' or better put , because we can AFFORD the 'someone better'

--

People will believe that change in this kind of a place is not possible . They will go forth to believe that this is our life .

These kinds of things are FOOD to that goopy swampy creature. I know that a creature that is so big cannot be easily conqured . But lets take small steps , tiny ones .

Let start by poking it , then lets take the bigger weapons . Burn it and hopefully slay it .

Its not something that we can do within a day . Not something that can be done in a year or even in 10 years .

But lets at least start doing something about it so that maybe , just maybe our grand grand grand grand kids can live a life where truly "No pain, No gain"

--

You may ask me 1 simple question , why all talk when you are giving food to that creature ?

I tell you from the bottom of my heart today , i will give my share of pokes to this creature . I shall try to not give these peons money and get my things done .

Because there is nothing in this world that matches hardwork .

--

I might have won this war . But things will come back .

What goes around , comes around .
What has a beginning , must end .
what is a corrupt country , can cease to be one .

--

I'm back home , and i'm hungry as fuck . I need my food .

"maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Signing off .